During the June school holidays, my children asked me to volunteer at their school event. However, work commitments almost prevented me from attending, and I came close to missing this moment with them.
As parents, many of us know this feeling all too well. We want to be there for our children. Yet life has a way of filling our calendars faster than we can keep up.
And as I sat with that possibility, I found myself asking a difficult question: Was I making the wrong choice?
The Pressure to Be Everything
As parents, we often place enormous expectations on ourselves.
We want to be supportive, present, encouraging, and available at all times. We tell ourselves that good parents never miss important moments.
When reality gets in the way, guilt usually follows.
I’ve felt that guilt too.
But that experience made me realise that perhaps I’ve been measuring parenting the wrong way.
What Our Children Really Need
The more I reflected on it, the more I realised that children aren’t keeping score the way we think they are.
They don’t remember every single event we attended.
They remember how we made them feel.
They remember the times we listened to them.
They remember our encouragement when they were nervous.
They remember the conversations that made them feel understood.
What children truly crave is connection.
A Lesson About Presence
One of the biggest lessons I learned from that experience is this:
I don’t have to be there 100% of the time. I simply need to do what I can, as best as I can.
Children are remarkably perceptive.
They can feel our love.
They can feel our support.
They know when we’re making an effort, even when circumstances don’t allow us to be physically present every moment.
That realisation lifted a weight off my shoulders.
Perfection was never the goal.
Connection was.
Why Communication Matters
This lesson also reminded me of something I see time and time again when working with children.
Confidence doesn’t grow from constant praise alone.
It grows when children feel heard.
It grows when they know their thoughts matter.
It grows when they are given opportunities to express themselves and are met with genuine attention.
Communication is one of the most powerful gifts we can give our children because it strengthens the connection that carries them through life’s challenges.
My Reminder to Fellow Parents
If you’re a parent who has ever felt guilty for missing an event, arriving late, or not being able to do it all, you’re not alone.
Life is busy.
Responsibilities are real.
And none of us can be everywhere at once.
What matters most is that our children know we care.
Years from now, they may not remember every event we attended.
But they will remember the love, support, and encouragement we gave them along the way.
And sometimes, that’s more than enough.
